The other week I posted a blog titled “Top 15 Most Beautiful Cars Ever Made”, so this week I thought it was only fair to take a look at some of the machines that are out there. other side of the scale: the ugliest, most grotesque things that should unfortunately be defined as “cars”.
If you Google the ugliest car in the world, the answer comes in the form of the Pontiac Aztek or the Fiat Multipla. But Google is wrong. There are a lot of MUCH uglier cars out there, which is scary when you stop to consider how hideous these two shits are. So get the sick bucket ready and get ready for one of the most grueling countdowns in history. But before that, a little pre-requisite…
To reiterate what I said in last week’s blog, aesthetics are the most subjective thing about a car and so there is no right or wrong answer. I’m just giving you what I think are the 15 ugliest cars in my eyes, and if you disagree, that’s fine – but don’t tell me I’m wrong, because that’s not true. is not the case. Nobody is right or wrong, because it is very subjective.
That said, I think there’s more harmony in trying to organize an order for ugliness than for beauty. Weird, that. So, without further ado, let’s get crazy…
15: Jensen S-V8
Have you ever seen a car where all the body panels look like they came from different cars? Well, now you have it, because that’s exactly what the S-V8 looks like.
It’s like Jensen just sending an employee to a junkyard with a list of parts – without specifying where the parts were to come from – and whatever comes back, they fit in and that’s it. My God, it’s a horrible shipwreck!
14: Jetstream SC250
Remember that moment in Terminator 2 where Sarah Connor had a nightmare about Judgment Day when a bomb exploded, leaving only her skeleton hanging from the bars for a brief moment before completely destroying everything? This is what the SC250 looks like: a skeleton that has been stripped of its flesh by the heat of a nuclear explosion.
In a way, that’s exactly what the Jetstream is, because it’s a cabana car designed to be light enough to confuse the laws of physics. But while that’s all very well when you’re trying to keep up with the Ferraris around Cadwell Park, it does mean the car looks like a plucked duck.
13: Fiat Multipla
Yes, it’s that pesky Multipla, which for many people in Britain is the ugliest car they’re likely to see every day. It’s not hard to see why so many people consider it the ugliest car ever made, because as far as I know it’s the closest representation of the Elephant Man on 4 wheels.
The only saving grace of the Multipla is that it is a wonderfully practical family car. Not only will it accommodate a family of 6, but there are more cabins in the cabin than in a bush tucker test. At first glance, however, if you find yourself owning a multiple as a single, you can guarantee that you’ll never get the chance, as long as you catch your breath, to appreciate just how well this thing can handle a big family . Moving…
12: Pontiac Aztec
For my readers across the pond, the Aztek fills the Multipla’s shoes, as it’s probably the ugliest car you’re likely to see on a daily basis.
Some say the Aztek started the ugly but now phenomenally popular coupe SUV trend; Which is why it looks like he had the top of his tail amputated. You really have to ask yourself: what goes through a person’s head when they project something so horrible?!
According to lead designer Tom Peters, he “wanted to create a bold vehicle that wasn’t for everyone”, which really raises another question: he sincerely suggests that there is someone other than the one who is the Aztek. for? The phrase “it seems only a mother can love” comes to mind – but I think this car goes too far in defining that saying.
11: Bugatti 101 Exner ghia
From the rear, there doesn’t seem to be any particular problem with the appearance of this Bugatti. It might look like it would be more comfortable floating than driving, but it doesn’t look ugly enough to warrant a spot in front of what many consider the ugliest car around. Until you look straight ahead…
Oh my! With his eyes so sunken into the back of his skull, it looks like he’s been ravaged by disease and left totally emaciated from the disease. What a terrifying expression!
Approaching this car from behind is like approaching Johnny Rotten dressed from behind in a nightclub. A hopeful pat on the shoulder, a cheeky “hello sweetie” to make a good first impression. And then when they turn around…ARGH!!
10: Toyota Mirai
The Mirai is the kind of car that looks like it belongs in a medieval monster show. As if he had been subjected to several brutal medical experiments, or had done something that forced King Joffrey to punish him fiercely, resulting in irreversible facial disfigurement.
However, the Mirai has a redeeming factor: it presents the greatest source of future durability because it is powered by hydrogen. Unlike all-electric cars, I am in favor of hydrogen. But there’s absolutely no excuse for Toyota to look like someone with their head in a beehive.
9: Lamborghini Veneno
The Venom is that pot-hole hypercar that people either love for its craziness or hate for its revolting looks. Considering it ranks 9th on my list of ugliest cars ever, you can probably guess what I think of its appearance.
Imagine drawing a hypercar, rolling the paper into a tight ball, then trying to untangle the mess as best you can. You would end up with some kind of wrinkled and distorted concoction that is Poison. In fact, maybe that’s how they designed it!
8: Mitsuoka Nouera
I know what you’re doing right now: you’re still trying to pronounce the vowel cluster that is the name of this car. If you can say that successfully, then treat yourself to a cookie, because I sure can’t! But what’s even worse than the name is the looks.
If you took an ugly person and cut off their nose, you would have a Nouera. It’s a styling trait shared with the Edsel Corsair – considered by many to be one of the ugliest classic American cars ever made. The Corsair, however, has charm, and “charm” isn’t a word you can use to describe anything on the Nouera. It’s absolutely terribly ugly!
7: Bufori Geneva
Imagine for a moment walking around the Geneva Motor Show enjoying the many attractions and wonders on offer. Then all of a sudden you’re horrified by the putrid sight of a car and think “my God, that must have been a boar they had to kill to get that nose!”
The Bufori Genève is the only car I can think of that sports a snout instead of a grille. The front looks so much like a pork shnozzle you’d be forgiven for thinking it was made of bacon instead of metal. Bacon, however, has appeal, while this car certainly does not!
6: Aston Martin Lagonda shooting brake
In my eyes, the Aston Martin Lagonda of the 70s was a despicably ugly car. I remember seeing it in a book for the first time when I was a kid, and the look it brought to my face made my mother ask in an incredibly worried way “what the hell is going on?” do not go?”
Apparently the designer of the car locked himself away for a month to photograph the Lagonda, and I’m still trying to find out if during that time he had cataracts in one or both eyes. However, the sedan’s ugliness was nothing in contrast to the 1998 Shooting Brake version from the Swiss company Roos Engineering.
This grotesque posture, crumpled and stooped, made her look like a hearse for people dead by rolls compressors. Luckily, only one example of this body style has been made, so there’s a slim chance you’ll have the displeasure of seeing one in person.
5: Marcos Mantis XP
There’s only one way Marcos Mantis XP can be described as “good,” and that’s if the viewer was looking at him through a brick wall. Bricks are much more appealing than that disgusting morsel of bile!
From every angle, XP is sure to make your stomach turn. From the front, it looks like a precisely crushed frog. fantastic right between the eyes with a racing bike; from the side, it looks like an old door wedge from which many shards have been removed; and from behind, he looks like the village idiot, struggling to get his change. What a terrifying sight!
4: Marcos Mantis M70
So it seems that the words “Marcos” and “Mantis” are synonymous with “ugly bitch” when put together in one car. And this M70 is, in my eyes, even uglier than the XP.
It looks like a horribly bad and close cut of about 3 or 4 different cars. The front doesn’t quite match the hood, which doesn’t match the cabin, which doesn’t match the rear. And those swollen lips and eyelids! What in God’s name were they thinking when they designed this? !
3: Mitsuoka Orochi
If you know enough about cars to be a bit of a geek without being a complete anorak, then you’ve probably been waiting for this car on this list – if you haven’t scrolled down, anticipate it taking the crown. If you haven’t, first of all, thank you; and second, now you’re probably wondering how there can be 2 more cars that can be uglier than this.
The Mitsuoka Orochi – or as I like to call it, the “Me-got-an Itchi-crotchi” – really looks terribly sick. Not as if he was suffering from some random disease, but rather as if he was the victim of a disease that he had caused himself. To me, that sounds like the kind of monstrosity that would ensue if someone decided to swim in a pool of nerve gas.
2: Ayrton R Tirrito
It’s a car that shares a name with arguably the greatest racing driver to ever breathe. And if it was a beautiful, wonderful car, I would praise the heavens for being such a wonderful tribute. But unfortunately this is not the case!
Those 4 tiny headlights are reminiscent of a Pagani Zonda – but the only way a Zonda will look like this car is if it falls victim to an inverted bear trap from the movie Saw (DO NOT do it on YouTube if you’re gross). And if the front wasn’t bad enough, the rear is somehow worse!
Seriously, what did they do behind his back? There are no distinguishing features other than sheer ugliness! It takes silver on my list of ugliest cars ever.
By now, you’re probably yelling at me through your computer for not including the cars you consider ugly, and also wondering what could be uglier than the Tirrito. Well, before I get to my #1 pick, I have to follow WatchMojo tradition again and give it some honorable mentions – which in this case are more dishonorable…
Ssang Yong Rodius
nissan
Stutz Bearcat II
Subaru Tribeca
Mitsubishi iCar
Toyota Prius (XW50)
Toyota Yaris Verso
Gillette Vertigo
1: Sbarro Autobau
That’s where that sick bucket can come in very handy. I didn’t know cars could be this ugly until I saw the Autobau. If an artist really sets out to design the ugliest car possible, I highly doubt his imagination can come to that. This is by far the ugliest thing I have ever seen!
When a car has the power to make John McCririck mildly attractive, you know you’re dealing with dangerous levels of hideousness. It’s so terrible that God hasn’t created enough birds yet for anyone to construct a proper metaphor. If it were possible for some kind of monster to crawl out of the pile of nuclear waste that remains in Chernobyl, then I think it would be something like this.
Apparently the Autobau was designed by “legendary” car designer Franco Sbarro. Presumably the “legendary” part of this statement can be related to him in the same way that Hitler is a “legendary” politician.
Thoughts about Frankenstein’s monster come to mind.
Mr. Sbarro introduced the Autobau to the world at the Geneva Motor Show a few years ago. So he must have liked the look. What I want to know now is: why isn’t he being treated for a mental illness? !
So there it is! I think these are the 15 ugliest cars ever made. I hope you enjoy this unsettling marvel on Frightful Lane.
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Written by: Angelo Ucello
Twitter: @AngeloUccello
Tribe: Speed Machines
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