I’ve always heard it’s a bad idea to meet your heroes, let alone hang out with them. In the case of cars, I tend to disagree with this statement. With many of my cars, the ones I thought were great before I owned them have often met or exceeded my expectations. A friend of mine, who you may remember from the E32 Jalopy article, shares the sentiment that you should meet, date and marry your car heroes. Recently Zach bought a B5 S4, a car he’s always coveted and which I can’t help but claim is one of the most iconic cars I’ve ever seen on American roads.
The B5 S4 is widely regarded as one of the most capable luxury cars ever built. When it arrived in America in 1999, its 6-speed manual transmission, all-wheel-drive setup, and V6 Biturbo engine were the winning combination that made it the most capable family truck on the road. In fact, Car and Driver named it their first winner in its segment, where it outperformed the just-released Subaru WRX and the BMW E46 330xi. Although it’s no surprise, the B5 S4 has remained a relevant car on today’s roads and has become a cult classic in the nearly 20 years of life since the oldest was produced.
For Zach, the B5 S4 holds an important place in his car enthusiast history beyond its obvious reasons. He grew up around the B5 chassis, the first A4, with his father. The pair his dad owned introduced Zach not only to the world of cars, but more specifically to a chassis he will cherish throughout his life. When this beautiful, pristine, stunning 157,000 mile copy appeared for sale, he had no choice but to buy the car. Based on your track record, you can expect your car track record to include several B5 S4s. Unfortunately, time (no pun intended) never aligned for him to find one worth buying or within his budget. It took little internal deliberation for him to seize the opportunity to buy one in this condition, earning him the elusive car he dreamed of.
The car is undeniably clean. Its previous owner has meticulously maintained it, even in the painstaking trouble for which the car is well known. B5s have long been considered incredibly reliable cars, as long as you spend every spare minute working on them and pour every extra dollar in parts to do so. In that sense, it’s a lot like meeting your hero, falling in love with him for all the reasons you expect, and then realizing he wants 100% of your attention, affection, and savings. This car has been treated with a new timing belt, guides, water pump, various gaskets, seals, suspension and tires. Everything is good to go, but unfortunately the turbos and the clutch are stock on the car. Anyone familiar with the B5 S4 twin-turbo engine knows it’s a matter of when, not if, the turbos will eat each other. As for the clutch, this is a performance car. Nobody can tell me without an imaginary Pinocchio nose growing on his face that the car has been pampered its entire life, no matter how clean it is. Whichever way you look at it, this clutch will eventually have to go.
That said, Zach is optimistic. Although he intends to keep the stock cars, the issue here is that it won’t take him more than a week and a half to get a stage 1 tune up and exhaust tips to increase its 250 horsepower to somewhere in the 300 region. It will be a great choice and a guarantee that any short life of the turbos and clutch will be greatly reduced. Zach knows he demands the timer on his time bomb car go fast, but he’s a car enthusiast: if it breaks down gloriously, pushing too hard, so be it. I have to respect that attitude, especially since this car replaces your LR Disco as your primary mode of transportation. Can you think of a better way to guarantee grief?
Being a legendary car, I had no choice but to ask Zach for permission to drive it to better understand what makes the B5 so appealing. If you understand, my experience is almost exclusively focused on radwood generation BMWs. Although I’ve spent time behind the wheel of several Audis, I’ve never been offered the chance to drive a B5 S4, arguably the best of the S4 name. Gently, Zach handed me the switchblade key (these things are cool, you can’t change my mind) and let me take his newfound pride and joy for a walk.
This car, fortunately for Zach and his transportation needs, has been well maintained. Many Audis I’ve driven suffer from worn transmission mounts and suspension components, causing them to ride like the suspension is made of crappy school bus driver seats. That is, everything moves in a way that you wish it didn’t. Zach’s Audi was much tighter than I expected, especially considering his advanced age. The suspension was stiff but flexible, while the gearbox was tight with every gear change. The elasticity that I don’t like about the shifter stems from an inescapable Audi design choice: the pressure spring to engage reverse. I have to say now, before I go any further, that I hope the engineer behind this sucker will have to walk a mile on legos without shoes. For a mechanical connection, the gear selector feels completely disconnected from the car thanks to this design and almost takes away from the driving experience a bit.
That little inconvenience aside, the B5 S4 is nothing short of pure excellence. The power offered, even in stock, is enough to surprise you. The powerband is longer than a Phish jam and provides the same explosive conclusion when you switch to the next gear. Despite the engine being so forward, it’s basically in the trunk of the car in front of you that you’re obviously behind, the Audi still handles very well on corner entry. A quick adjustment to my driving style allowed me to enjoy getting the car from fourth to third to second in a tough corner. The responsive brakes and forgiving suspension smoothed out any hesitation or inconsistency in my inputs and made me feel more confident as a rider. On output, the small 6-cylinder provided the low-end torque that its four-cylinder cousin in the A4 lacked. Once the boost is thrown in by the tiny twin turbos, the Audi fires through its entire rev range and proves that even twenty-year-old cars can still be exciting when your standard Camry now has more power.
Even with its mouth-watering power, responsive handling and immersive driving feel, the Audi is also one of the easiest cars I’ve ever had the pleasure of driving. The clutch pedal is soft but has an almost telepathic engagement, the steering also feels wired to your brain, and the brakes offer immense confidence when stopping well above the set speed limit. Thanks to its relatively light weight despite its size, the car also feels maneuverable beyond its mid-size sedan body. He lives up to the years of accolades he has received for many of these specific reasons. I can’t help but think its greatness is almost too predictable; something that indicates there may be a “too good to be true” aspect underneath.
While it may induce anticipation of catastrophic failure, I still feel good enough to consider all of the high marks and category wins over his lifetime to be completely valid. Zach thinks this car is what he should have and looks forward to whatever happens to it. It’s a case where the hero, despite his underlying flaws, is the missing piece of the puzzle in Zach’s life. Thankfully, as the car sees more driving time and modifications, the rest of its reputation as a revenue black hole falls short of expectations. Stay tuned as we follow this and other Zach builds over the winter to see if this Audi turns out to be the love of his life or the future messy divorce that leaves him half of his goods.